📰 📤 👃 Flashing restrictive beliefs. For what and what does it give 💆🏽 💦 🚓

Beliefs embedded in our brains can sometimes interfere and become a kind of stumbling block on the path to the realization of what was conceived. Let's talk about how this happens from the perspective of thought processes.

Now this is a particularly relevant topic. More and more new software products are being created that are based on the principles and logic of the operation of neural networks. Despite the fact that the brain functions, as well as the processes taking place in it, have been studied for a rather long time, this topic remains relevant and, unfortunately, insufficiently studied. And most likely it will be interesting for a very long time.

I do not pretend to the originality and novelty of my approaches, as well as discoveries in this matter. Although, who knows, maybe what will be discussed further for you, my dear readers, is little known. I emphasize that everything that will be presented in this article is a conclusion based on my own work practice.

Once, a young man who was engaged in cryptographic data protection came to my consultation. He said that over the years, in a professional and career plan, he has been marking time. He would like to be promoted. However, he fails to achieve his goal.

On the one hand, what he does, he likes. On the other hand, he thought about moving forward. He is sure that, being a competent specialist, he understands the specifics of the work of his unit much better than his immediate supervisor. To my proposal to explain what was the reason for the situation, from his point of view, he sadly replied that there was probably something wrong with him. He also set out his reasoning, which he twists in his head and is already quite confused. His vision of the circumstances has several provisions:

He would like to be the head of the department because he is a competent specialist and understands the work of employees of the structural unit much better than the head who is appointed to this position.
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What was wrong with him? He believed that he simply lacked courage and self-confidence. But as soon as a suitable vacancy appeared, my client was bypassed with enviable constancy. And when it came to why the next position was offered not to him, the personnel officers shrugged and said that he would definitely get the next one.

It would seem, take it and leave. Find another company that will value you more. Prove to yourself and these people that they in vain ignored you and, as a result, were left without a valuable employee. But something does not allow to behave this way. Isn't this a fairly common situation?

In the course of the conversation with the young man, several typical circumstances were revealed for such people. He said that he grew up in a complete family. His dad was a driver, his mother was a worker at an oil refinery. Each of them, in fact, was a good person. They really wanted the kids to come out. While these nuances of biography are not the root of the problem - this is just the background.

The story of how our parents “with good intentions” and their convictions make children slivers floating in the ocean of life without a vector

This young man told me that his parents gave him some instructions that helped him graduate from university and get a decent education. Some of these rules helped, and some, unfortunately, became for him an insurmountable subconscious obstacle to career advancement. These obstacles we will call "limiting installations."

In childhood, my client more than once from his mother heard the following:

You need to choose the right profession to sit in the office, in the warmth, and not koryachivaetsya on the street.

And he chose a profession, in accordance with the instructions of his mother and of course, taking into account his interests. And, it would seem, what is bad in choosing his profession? “The right profession” - no one can argue with that. In the office, clean and warm, in a large company. By my mother’s standards, everything is fine. And dad added to his mother’s words:

You son are like me. Therefore, live calmly, do not go into the leadership. Otherwise you will be devoured. There, dishonest people, exploiters of the working people, work in the leadership. They don’t even give you a drink on your day off. Forever checked at physical examinations. I’m sitting at my fifth point exactly, I’m not jerking anywhere, and I’m calm.

The guy has grown. At the moment when these conversations were from the side of mom and dad, he was still a child. However, time flew by rather quickly. Memory erased the nuances of those events, but the settings remained. My client is quite productive, but not consciously started to work them out.

No, he, of course, vigorously discussed each episode of refusal on the sidelines with colleagues, told something to his girlfriend and mother. Colleagues were in solidarity with him. And mother every time told him:

You see, I told you that you are all in your father. He also did not achieve anything. We didn’t live richly - there’s nothing to start ...

You, my dear reader, probably think that this article is about parental mistakes? If so, then you are mistaken. Our parents really wish their children the best. It is not their fault that the wisdom that they possess at the moment when they have children, over time, becomes of little relevance. And when the children grow up, they become more independent and live on their own.

Unfortunately, most parents cannot reconstruct in the process of growing up their offspring. Their main task is to feed, clothe, learn, make of them people similar to other members of the society in which they live. They do not even think about what magical effect their words have said to the children in a fit of negativity. Few of the parents follow what they say. But who knows what they say at all - we don’t remember everything in a row. Most of what a child hears from parents is not absorbed by his brain.

However, every child knows that parents play a game called “Work.” They, adults, know everything about work. So it will be so. Therefore, what in childhood cannot be verified, but may be useful in the future, especially if it is said with intonation, and even by authoritative people (parents), the child’s brain remembers.
And then, after many years, when a person goes to work, information acquired in childhood begins to be extracted from the bowels of the memory and becomes unconsciously a kind of guide for him.

We, growing up, sometimes never get rid of the negative formulations of our loved ones. This is one of the reasons for our low self-esteem, self-doubt and lack of understanding of why the expected pleasant changes do not occur in life.

As a result of these unrecognized parental attitudes in my client, it was as if no one wanted to see a promising leader, no matter how hard he tried. In fact, every time a young man went to leadership, he himself did not believe that he could change anything.

Something inwardly told him that nothing would come of it anyway; all this was useless. As if inside there was a certain mechanism that slowed it down. And when he once again received a refusal - he dropped his hands and even somewhere deep down in his heart rejoiced over what had happened, because he realized that he was not ready for the “desired” changes.

In this example, the words of mom and dad have become a kind of verbal coding, the meaning of which is how he should realize himself and why he should not move up the career ladder. And it was precisely these subconscious programs that needed to be removed by loading into the brain new, more useful ones that would help him in implementing his career plans. This process can be conditionally attributed to a certain flashing of these limiting installations. Here is another example of how this works.

I was contacted by a young man who worked in a large Russian - Swiss holding as an IT specialist in remote communications. The essence of his problem was that from his words he treated himself very badly. At work, he was appreciated and encouraged in every way for his knowledge and ability to quickly find the right and effective solutions.

However, this did not bring him moral satisfaction. He perceived what was happening from the perspective of an outside observer. I could not try on the rave reviews of my colleagues and felt depressed. It seemed to him that he seemed not to live his own life.

He complained of a breakdown and lack of incentive to life. Turning into a whiner, this genius in his work suffered from endless samoyedness. To my question “why is it beneficial to you that you feel bad about yourself?”, A strange answer sounded:

I'm worthless. All that I do is not really worthy of the attention of others. My hands grew out of the wrong place. I can’t be entrusted with anything, not even the simplest. I'll ruin everything.

This statement did not fit into the real picture of what was happening to him at work. To my question that this reminds him of his past, he explained that he felt a similar attitude towards himself from his father in elementary school. He remembered how dad, doing homework with him, often said that the guy was good for nothing. And it is generally not known which specialist will come out of him if he writes in notebooks “like a chicken paw”.

In the minds of our young man there was an unpleasant sensation associated with what he did with his hands. Fortunately, this did not affect the quality of what he was actually doing. Using some methods of psychotherapy, it was possible to rework the past traumatic history, which later became the basis for our genius to start treating himself differently and to perceive the result of his work more adequately.

How to “reflash” restrictive views?

But back to our IT specialist. Recall the phrases that subconsciously guided the young man:

Do not go into the manual. Otherwise you will be devoured.
There dishonest people work in the leadership.
You are all in your father. He also did not achieve anything. We didn’t live richly - there’s nothing to start.

Having understood the reasons for the situation at work and having analyzed what was subconsciously guided by dad's preferences, our specialist first said to himself:

Childhood is over, it's time to see the world with your own eyes.

And if you approach the issue of career growth from the perspective of an adult and a successful person, then it’s worth at least for a start to observe those who really achieve what they want at work. He came to understand that these people behave in a certain way. He suddenly distinctly saw that, unlike them, he behaves in a completely different way at work. He had several wrong tactics.

He tried to be good for everyone, but as you know, good for everyone will not work. Our young man, it turns out, was an inconvenient employee to guide. By the term “uncomfortable,” I mean that he often argued with his immediate supervisor, did everything in his own way, discussed the mistakes of the supervisor with colleagues, and made it clear to his superiors that they prefer not real professionals in their field.

Perhaps he had good reason to think and act like that. The question is, what purpose did this young man fulfill in fact? Apparently this is not the goal of career advancement. Rather, it seems like a desire to prove oneself right.

After processing and rethinking the limiting subconscious attitudes he had with the help of psychological methods, our specialist looked at himself from the past, and realized what his wrong actions were.

Finally, when he determined this for himself, he began to behave differently. From that moment, he began to watch those who move up the career steps. He began to read literature on this subject, began to come to work in high spirits, went in for sports and changed some elements in clothes. Life began to sparkle with new colors.

If you think that he began to grovel before the leadership, then you are mistaken. He remained, as before, true to his principle - to be a “dock” in the profession. But he tried, discussing the leader’s requests, more often to find a compromise with him instead of the confrontation that he had demonstrated earlier.

And, most importantly, he became a more confident and cheerful person because he saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The state of hopelessness gave way to a sense of perspective. In the same year, he transferred to another unit of the enterprise, where he began to work as the head of the structural unit.

When we talk about positive changes, which can be called a kind of reflashing the brain in restrictive settings, we need to understand that a person always chooses the best of what he sees in his picture of the world. What our expert was guided by was parental attitudes, which were a kind of excuse for dad and mom to their child for living their life “just as they had lived”, for not being an example in their career plan.

Understanding this made it possible to remove the components of the career palette of parents from his behavior and, as a result, this helped him begin to achieve what he wanted. Unfortunately, a person is unlikely to be able to understand on his own, because of which something in his life does not work out. According to the proverb - being inside the alarm clock, you will not know the time.

Often, instead of analyzing what is happening from the standpoint of common sense, we try to find an excuse, thereby becoming even more confused. From this bell tower it seems to us that we are simply victims of circumstances. The effect of chronic bad luck haunts us time after time. And in order to unearth the interfering beliefs in psychology in the depths of our memory, there are a number of techniques with which this can be done.

The brain is a very complex computer, which we have one. Replace or buy a new one is unlikely to succeed. And, if you think you can do it yourself, then go for it. My task was to show how some career obstacles turn out. Verbal encodings are just part of the psychological “garbage” that can limit a person’s capabilities and create some background of the lack of necessary resources.

There are several other areas by which you can not only understand the causes of professional and emotional stagnation, but also try to change the bias of these life aspects in the direction of improvement.

In the next article, we will examine with examples how a person subconsciously stops himself and internally slows down the changes he needs. This condition is now called the buzzword “procrastination”. And, of course, we will analyze the possible ways to get rid of it.

Perhaps you expected more from this article. Be patient. This topic is not so simple as to set out its main components in one article. If you are interested, you are sure to find the answers to the questions posed in the article. And, perhaps it will help some of you to become happier, and someone will prompt you to rethink what is happening.

Flashing restrictive beliefs. For what and what does it give

The story of how our parents “with good intentions” and their convictions make children slivers floating in the ocean of life without a vector

How to “reflash” restrictive views?

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