🧖 😄 🕊️ Rhetoric as a safety tool. Oral speech and attraction techniques 🏿 👩🏻‍🤝‍👨🏼 👩‍🎤

In a previous article, a theory was given on the construction of speech, as well as a practice on written face-to-face communication and on an audience. In this post we will talk about oral communication and the role of attraction techniques in it. Naturally, in addition to the theory, there are disassembled examples of both the techniques themselves and communication.

Talking with people is helpful. Often, they themselves are ready to tell you what you need. At the same time, extracting the same information through alternative paths (for example, using a DLP system) can consume much more time and resources. In face-to-face conversations, your authority / background plays an important role. In a word, that image that you created in the eyes of the interlocutor.

Work on the image is painstaking work that continuously takes place throughout your activity in the company. Because if you suddenly materialize in front of an employee who knows about you only what is written on the badge (information security specialist), and you start asking questions ... Actually, what answers do you expect? Frank and honest? That's unlikely.

A person perceives information is not abstracted, but through the one who delivers it (this can be controlled with the help of ethos tips 15 and 16, which are described in the previous article) . Whether it’s an email, a phone call or a face-to-face conversation. We fulfill some requests and instructions more readily than others simply because we sympathize with some people / companies, but not others. How does this happen and is it possible to force yourself to "love"? Can.

Direct communication with employees of the organization is a source of important information for ensuring safety, on the one hand, and the process of erecting / overcoming various barriers, on the other. Lack of trust in security personnel can deprive them of the necessary information and, as a result, make it impossible to prevent a number of incidents.

To create a positive image, it is important for a person to learn how to manage his impression of himself. For this, it is necessary to develop such important components as attraction, fascination and assertiveness.

Psycho

Attraction (from lat. Attrahere - to attract, attractiveness) - the ability to please others. Attraction is both the process of formation of the attractiveness of a person and the product of this process, i.e. some quality relationship.

Fascination (from lat. Fascination - fascination) - a specially organized impact on a person (including verbal) in order to reduce the loss of significant information in its perception. Fascination increases the degree of influence of information on human behavior. The lowest intensity of fascination is achieved with monotonous speech, the maximum - with recitation, singing, etc.

Assertiveness (a term borrowed from English, where it is derived from the verb to assert - to insist on your own, to assert your rights. It allows you to increase the impact on a person, for example, by repeating the main points at the end of the speech.

Attraction factors can be divided into two large groups.

External factors of attraction

The need for affiliation is the desire of people to unite, the need to create satisfactory relationships with other people, the desire to like, to attract attention, to feel valuable and significant personality.

In practice, this is expressed, for example, in tactful compliments to employees. A girl came in a skirt or dress - I’ll definitely unobtrusively note that it suits her very well and it’s a pity that so many girls today prefer trousers. For a male colleague, a phrase like “Cool T-shirt. Where did you get it?".

The factor of emotional state. It is expressed in the fact that a person experiencing positive emotions looks at others more often and more benevolently than when he is in a neutral, aggressive or depressed mood.

Spatial proximity.The influence of this factor is that, ceteris paribus, the closer people are to each other, the more likely their mutual attractiveness. The case when it is hardened is in love. In the corporate world, people from one office will perforce become more attractive to each other. This can be explained by the fact that people who communicate more closely have common topics for discussion, common questions and problems, and interest in mutual assistance.

It is clear that the security guard is unlikely to succeed in using all the factors of the external attraction. Well, it is not necessary. After all, there are still internal ones.

Internal factors of attraction

Physical and personal attractiveness.The relationship between a person’s physical attractiveness and attraction is ambiguous. Sometimes people who do not seem pleasant at first glance are sympathetic. And, on the contrary, with a beautiful face, a person can look cold and alienated, engage in self-love or demonstrate egoism, unethical, incorrect actions in relation to another. Such a person, as a rule, does not cause sympathy. If in the process of interaction a person demonstrates a mind, a charming smile, a friendly look and gestures, a desire to meet one’s wishes, then this will attract attraction to his personality (here, too, the example of the “good security guard” from the previous paragraph will be appropriate, but the content part now consists of image). In communication, the ability to be pleasant and sociable is much more appreciated than the natural external beauty with an undeveloped attraction.It is also noted that the influence of external attractiveness is usually higher at the beginning of the acquaintance and decreases as we learn about other features of this person.

I will illustrate for myself. I myself am far from Apollo, but I try to keep fit. At the same time, due to medical indications, one of my colleagues cannot go to the gym, which affects his appearance. Nevertheless, his personal attractiveness is higher than mine, because he knows how to win over people like no other.

Factor of similarity and differences in communication participants.“A pleasant person is a person who agrees with me,” once said Disraeli (British Prime Minister in the late 19th century). We like and we rather like people who are like us, and on the contrary, we don’t like, and we don’t like people who are different from us. In fairness, it is worth noting that there is another point of view. The theory of complementary needs says that we more often choose those who satisfy our needs, and maximum satisfaction occurs when two people more likely have complementary rather than similar needs.

In practice, everything is quite simple. When communicating with employees, I always try to find “common ground”. There are those who are keen on football. For me personally, this sport is not so important as to have a favorite club and ride away games with them. However, on occasion, I’m sure to ask the fan staff about how their team is doing in the league. Books, films, music, hobbies, in short, anything can be common.

As a last resort, you can use common themes. For example, when I first visited our company’s office in Kazakhstan, I didn’t have much idea about common topics for talking with employees. But you can start a conversation about children. About, for example, how they miss when their father is on a business trip and rejoice at his return. And you can admire the views of Almaty. Praise the local metro. Ask where the monument to Victor Tsoi in the image of Moreau. Ask where to buy the very apples in whose honor the name of the city appeared. And after the “ice is broken”, you can grope for more personal topics. The main thing is not to try everyone to become a friend by force.

Support factor.Aristotle also wrote that people love those who do good to them and take care of them. Attraction arises in response to positive actions, hostility - to negative ones. We are more likely to have a positive attitude towards those people who praise us, love us, cooperate with us, than those who criticize us, hate us or are our competitors.

In practice, this is expressed differently. For example, when I visit offices in the regions, I always bring small edible gifts with me. Be it chocolate candies or nuts. I position such gifts exclusively as a product of my own character. “Guys, I’m always glad to see you, but for good people, why not bring something tasty.” As a result, hospitality and altruism begin to be associated with a specific person, that is, with me. You can take an interest in the affairs of the employee, mood. If he has problems, give advice or volunteer to help solve. Depends on the circumstances and on your goals.

Some readers may now gloatingly think what a cynical bastard I am. I hasten to disappoint. If the security guard will only try to “seem”, and not “be” kind, fair, etc., he will quickly be revealed. Because it is much more difficult to imitate a natural interest in a particular topic than to really be interested in a question. Therefore, if you come to the region and tell employees that you are glad to see them, you really should be glad.

Tricks

Well, now I propose to make out a few specific tricks, the use of which will help in working on a “personal brand”.

Reception "proper name". The sound of a proper name evokes a person’s feeling of pleasantness that is not always conscious of him, because formed almost from birth. For the first time, our name sounds from loving people: parents, close relatives. As you grow older, an appeal by last name is added. Moreover, as a rule, “fears” are associated with the surname: by the surname the teacher calls to the blackboard at school, by the surname they can “bother” at the meeting.

The components of the psychological mechanism of this technique are as follows:

The name assigned to this person accompanies her from the first days of life to the last. Name and personality are inseparable.
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Reception is a “mirror of attitude”. Most people know that more often in the process of communication, those who treat them with sympathy are smiling kindly. People say that the eyes are a "mirror of the soul", and taking into account psychology: the face is a "mirror of attitude". Often people consciously, deliberately use a particular facial expression in communication? Usually they do this rarely, or rather, very rarely. So it turns out that often internal irritation is “written” on a person’s face. Consequently, the facial expression corresponds to the actual attitude to this or that person.

The components of the psychological mechanism of this technique are as follows:

Most people sincerely and kindly smile at their friends, not their enemies.
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« ».This technique involves the use of words to help attract people to themselves. As a rule, these are all sorts of compliments. For example, “You are truly a specialist in your field!”, “You are a smart person!” etc. Heard from a security representative, they really are “golden” for the employee, if only because they are very rare in the vocabulary of some managers. "Golden words" should contain a slight exaggeration of the positive qualities of a person. What will happen to a person if, for example, he is often repeated: “You are a smart person” or “You influence people very well”, although this is not really so? It turns out that after a while a person will really believe in these “abilities” and will strive to more fully realize the existing potential. This is becausethat the basis of the mechanism of action of compliments is the psychological phenomenon of suggestion.

The components of the psychological mechanism of this technique are as follows:

A person hears pleasant words addressed to him, representing a slight exaggeration of some of his positive qualities, i.e. compliment.
If the compliment is made correctly, then the effect of suggestion occurs.
As a result of suggestion - "correspondence" satisfaction of needs - the formation of positive emotions.
As a result of the satisfaction of needs - the formation of positive emotions.

If positive emotions are caused by a specific person, then this leads to a disposition towards him with all the favorable consequences when fulfilling requests, orders or requirements coming from him.

Reception "patient listener." It takes time to patiently and carefully listen to another person. Sometimes a lot, because not everyone knows how to concisely and clearly state their thoughts. In addition, there are not always statements on the case, sometimes just to “pour out” the soul. But is it worth wasting time on this if you have a ton of other things? Yes, it’s worth it, because if you do listen to a person, he will satisfy his needs and receive positive emotions. Associating this in addition to his will with you, he will naturally begin to listen more carefully to your advice.

The psychological mechanism of the influence of the “patient listener” technique is simple. Careful listening to the employee who has addressed you with a particular issue leads to the satisfaction of one of the most important needs of any person - the need for self-expression. Her satisfaction, of course, leads to the formation of positive emotions.

And since you were the actual source of these emotions, the emotions will be “returned” in the form of a slight increase in sympathy, i.e. in the form of an emerging or increasing attraction.

Oral appeal from one to one

Now that the image is formed and continues to be “polished in the background,” it is time to move on to oral communication. In it, along with the personal authority of the speaker (image), profiling (the ability to read the opponent \ audience, to adjust) plays a big role for me. And of course, circumstances make adjustments.

For example, an employee passes me an internal exam and, unfortunately, “does not pull”. At the end of the conversation, he expects a verdict, and I am forced to give it. But first, I propose to parse the errors. We go through those issues in which he missed. I explain in detail why his answer is not suitable and why the correct answer is suitable (not "because of gladiolus", but with reasoned justification). As a result, by the end of the analysis, the employee already understands that he didn’t pass and makes this decision more gently than if he were immediately told “did not pass, but I’ll explain why now.”

This explanation + the image of an adequate person who does not tolerate personal grievances in the professional field, allows you to avoid behind-the-scenes complaints like "Yes, everything was fine, I answered him, it was he who specially flunked me."

The formed image of an adequate person who sincerely worries about employees and is not a "snitch" allows you to receive information from both managers and their subordinates with a simple question, "How are you doing here?" And the answer is not limited to the on-duty phrase "Normal." Relations built in this way allow me to learn about critical situations much earlier than using automated monitoring.

For example, one of the employees sighed in July that she had a hard time working. From the communication it became clear that this is not an empty complaint. A man is seriously tired due to workloads. In August, two weeks after the employee’s vacation, I again inquired about her emotional state. Have you rested, have you switched? The answer was "no, not completely." Information was transmitted as a recommendation to its immediate superior. Recommended to take a closer look at the employee, reduce the load whenever possible. Alas, the boss felt that everything was normal. In the fall, an employee quit of her own free will. Neither admonishment of the authorities nor conversations with the top management helped. As a staff member later said: “Yes, they offered both the conditions and the payment more interesting. But the point of no return has been passed. I have already decided. They moved at least two weeks earlier ... "

These are performances. They also have a place for image and attraction techniques. But there is no time to build it. Therefore, first the audience will evaluate you by physiological attractiveness. In this case, it will include not only your appearance, but also clothing, speech (timbre, speed, volume, clarity), pose.

Once, one of our customers complained to me about the company's management. Reason: appearance at a public seminar. I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. It was said approximately the following: “Some incomprehensible whether it’s IT specialist or someone came out. I was about to turn around and leave. But then he began to speak. He spoke interestingly on the case. I like it. But you dress him better. He is not taken seriously in this form. " So I realized that at seminars for this audience the a la TED Talks style is unacceptable. I had to update the wardrobe.

Conclusion

Attraction is an important thing that will help you with all four types of communication. A personal brand, image, will always work for you if you do it. Alas, it will not be possible to get “100 points” from employees once and for all. This thing needs periodic “recharge”. Therefore, regularly using various techniques, you should “be, not seem” to be the personality that employees sympathize with. Perhaps my example of an “adequate security guard” is a survivor’s mistake. In the comments on the last post, it was seen that many commentators perceive the security guards as a necessary evil. Useless and even interfering with work. However, in my practice for 9 years for some reason there were very few such canonical "harmful" IShnikovs. Therefore, I want to receive feedback from you in the comments. Safe Normal - fictional character or does he exist?