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Top 5 Tips for Improving Soft Skills in English



First you need to clarify what is included in the concept of soft skills ( flexible skills ):

  • ability to communicate, find a common language with different people
  • ability to work in a team
  • persuasion skills
  • general erudition
  • effective time management
  • ability to plan, etc.

This list can be continued, as there is no consensus on its contents.

The development of these skills is possible only with high emotional intelligence - EQ ( emotional intelligence quotient ).

What are the components of emotional literacy or emotional intelligence?

  1. On the one hand, the ability to understand and express your emotions, as well as manage them.
  2. On the other hand, the ability to understand the emotions of other people , empathize with them, and also to some extent manage them.

? self-help literature, ?


The reason is that, as practice and life in society show, it is impossible (or almost impossible) to achieve personal happiness and career success in the absence of the above skills. They are so important that according to some statements one can achieve career growth on flexible skills alone, while professional skills ( “hard skills” - hard skills ) can be acquired with experience. Of course, this is not an axiom, but a fairly common phenomenon. How often do I hear that they did not hire or promote a worthy IT specialist just because it is hard to communicate with him (or her) or work hard as a team! And the problem is that the person is an introvert.

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According to the latest data, most people possess traits and introvertsand extroverts , and many do not suspect that they are introverts. Being an introvert does not mean not being able to communicate. Introverts just love solitude and a quiet pastime, however, communicating with other people can be no worse, or maybe more effective than extroverts.

A huge omission on the part of the educational system around the world is that such important skills as soft skills are not worthy to get on the list of compulsory subjects in schools and universities. But it would be enough to introduce a generalizing subject such as popular psychology, with the help of which people from an early age would be given the opportunity:

  • recognize the importance of communication skills
  • understand the concepts of “introvert-extrovert”
  • boost emotional intelligence
  • learn to resolve conflicts
  • communicate harmoniously with people
  • competently manage your time
  • to plan
  • think critically, etc.

So how to improve soft skills in English?


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1) active listening to the interlocutor

What does it mean to actively listen ?

Sincerely interested in what you are told, nod, smile, ask additional questions, synchronize your body language with your interlocutor ( matching and mirroring ), avoid crossed legs and crossed arms ( closed body language ).

In addition to the above, use exclamations that signal to the interlocutor that you are following the story and find it exciting.

Exclamations showing that you are actively listening to the interlocutor:


  • Oh dear! Oh no! Oh my goodness! Oh my god! Really?
  • No doubt! Can’t agree more!
  • You must be kidding! What a shame! What a pity!
  • Unbelievable! Incredible!
  • That’s awesome! How nice!
  • How embarrassing! How surprising!
  • Who would have thought?! Who knows?

2) Tag questions - separation questions - abound in the speech of native speakers and are undeservedly ignored by non-native speakers.

The advantage of tag questions is that they “invite” the person to talk to, demand participation from him, and wait for a reaction.

For example,

Nice weather, isn't it ?
You work for Deloitte, don't you ?

It is important to consider that if you pronounce tag questions with interrogative intonation (ascending intonation), then this is really a question that you are waiting for an answer to.

Person A: You are the CEO of the company, aren't YOU ?
Person B: Oh, actually I'm the CTO.

And if you pronounce a dividing question with the intonation of the statement (descending intonation), then you are almost sure that you are right and just want to make sure, or just use this grammatical construction to start the conversation. That's just what we need to improve communication skills! Separating questions with downward intonation are a great way to start a conversation.

You can melt ice using the following phrases


  • Fabulous weather, isn't it?
  • It's such an interesting conference, isn't it?
  • She's such an amazing host, isn't she?
  • You worked for Ernst and Young, didn't you?
  • We have met before, haven't we?
  • You've read that book, haven't you?
  • You've watched that film, haven't you?
  • Your name is George, isn't it?

3) open questions (open-ended questions / wh-questions) - as opposed to closed questions (Yes / No questions)

Yes / No questions suggest an answer of Yes or No.

For example,

Do you like the seminar?
Did you have a good flight?

The interlocutor may answer in monosyllables, and thus, a friendly conversation may not work. This is not conducive to successful communication. It is much better to use open-ended questions - wh-questions : questions starting with when, where, which, who, how, how often, etc.
  • How do you like the seminar? How far do you agree with the speaker's idea?
  • You didn't have any delays of the flight, did you? How do you like your hotel?

4) small talk

In the translation in most dictionaries, this phrase means “empty talk, small talk ” . With the naked eye, the connotations are negative . However, this is completely out of line with the concept of small talk!

Small talk - conversations regarding safe topics ( sports, cinema, music, hobbies, weekends, vacations, travels, news, etc. ) aimed at melting ice and establishing friendly, laid-back relationships.

The importance of this concept in some cultures cannot be overestimated.

To improve this skill you need to constantly practice, avoid explosive topics ( religion, politics, health, divorce, money, etc.) The best topic for conversation is the context in which the chatters are located.

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If this is a corporate party , then the following questions will come up:
  • Great performance! It's my favorite band, in fact. What is your favorite singer or band?
  • Delicious food! I would like to try these croissants! Do you like desserts? What is your favorite dessert?

If this is a training or seminar , then you can use the following questions:
  • I can't agree with any of these ideas. What is your opinion?
  • The information is very useful. I'm going to pass it to my team tomorrow. What about you? Do you find it useful enough to implement?

5) competent feedback:

praise / emphasizing strengths + constructive criticism + encouragement / support / gratitude
(or in reverse order, starting from the end)

I am satisfied, everything is fine. Good job! Well done!
Everything is bad. Work sucks. You screwed up! It sucks!

Such feedback is not informative and not constructive.

Instead, it is necessary to first note the advantages in the work, set the person in a positive way, then in a friendly tone to point out the weaknesses that require improvement or adjustment. It is advisable to complete the feedback on a positive note, expressing gratitude, or belief in success.

An example of a competent feedback to a tester


  • Hi Paul! I'd like to thank you for working hard and generating smart ideas. I appreciate your enthusiasm and efficiency. However, the bug report you've sent us does not fully comply with the standard. Could you please review it and correct the underlined points? I believe it won't take too much time, seeing that your English is very impressive. Keep up the good work!

Flexible skills , as well as hard ones , need to be constantly honed to stay competitive. The first step will be to recognize their importance, and the second will be concrete actions to improve them.

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