👨‍👨‍👧 🤴🏿 🧔🏾 How much to be Nyasha? 👙 🙅 ✋🏽

Most people strive to be perfect. No, not to be, but to seem. Beauty is right around, not the world. Especially now, when there is a social network.

And the handsome man himself works perfectly, and gets along well with people, and constantly develops, and reads smart books, and relaxes on the seas, and solves problems on time, and looks promising, and watches the right films (so that the rating on Kinopoisk is 7.5, not lower ), and studied at the school-institute perfectly, and if not excellent, then I "was just myself," and the patriot, and the traffic rules do not violate, and helps the grandmother to cross the road. Nasha.

Moreover, if you look, then most of us are really good people. Each of us has not only good traits or skills, each of us is really unique. It sounds corny and beaten, but this is a fact: everyone has a business that he does best in the world.

It seems that all this is a no brainer. Everyone is good in something, in something - average, but it would be better not to approach something. A hedgehog is understandable, but not always for people. People try to be / seem good at everything.

Is it worth it? Or not: what is it worth?

Let's remember the Pareto principle: 80/20. 20% of the effort is spent on 80% of the requirements, and 80% of the effort is spent on the remaining 20% of the work.

In general, I do not really like all sorts of laws there, but I always find confirmation of the Pareto formula. Once I made a report on the analysis of the causes of defective products - and exactly, damn it, eighty percent of the marriage was explained exactly, damn it, by twenty percent of the reasons. Moreover, 80% of the marriage and the number of parts, and their cost. Magic.

So, exactly the same story with ideality. That person has one or more key skills, abilities or talents. If he normally uses them, then this set of skills gives him 80% success in life. Well and, accordingly, a person spends 20% of his efforts to use his talents. Is it easy to do what you get, right? It somehow goes by itself.

And the rest of the image, which is not a person’s strength, is much more difficult. The remaining 80% of the effort goes into maintaining a halo of ideality. Just think about it - four times more.

Well, sort of, and okay - a person wants to be perfect, so for God's sake. Let him spend his efforts on what he pleases. But what does the ideal image lead to?

To high expectations, why else. If you are perfect, then no one else is expected from you. You should be handsome in everything. You can't be wrong, never.

What is allowed to the "ordinary" is not for you, no matter what you do. As they say, called a cargo - climb into the back. Are you the perfect programmer? Kindly, never write govnokod. Do you write articles? Ok, you have to live up to the expectations of the public. Do you claim that you have a perfect body? Forget about beer with smoked ribs. Drowning for a healthy lifestyle? Well, God forbid I see you in a poppy.

This game is like that - for everyone except the unfortunate one. This is obvious to others, but not to him. The more efforts a person makes to be perfect, the more it seems to him that everyone around them is only doing what is monitoring their successes and, most importantly, their failures.

And here he is right. Everyone follows his failures much more closely than the failures of the others. And much more closely than behind his successes. As the green goblin said, people are much more interested in the failure of the hero, his fall and death.

Everyone, simply put, doesn’t give a damn about someone’s ideality. No one will admire her, except for the hero himself. And all the efforts spent on creating the image will be wasted.

One author of one book suggested such a metaphor for explaining efforts to maintain an ideal image. Imagine that you always have to carry a pig with you. He breaks out, squeals, and you spend tremendous efforts to keep the pig. From the outside it is obvious to everyone that you are doing nonsense, and you have no real reason to carry a pig with you. I just want to.

On the other hand, there is a penchant for idealization. If you are doing something well, there are people around who start to think, and then say that you are an ideal. To search in you for something that has not been born there. They themselves create an image of the very piglet that you have to carry with you. Even if you yourself did not plan it.

Here, the person himself decides whether to fit the implanted image or not. Most agree - it’s so nice when, roughly speaking, you are being promoted. Oh, and I didn’t think that I was so good. Do you really think that I write good code? Yes? In general, yes. I myself began to notice that my code is very good. Quite. What is there - he is gorgeous!

Further support is disabled - you have created an image, and then you need to drag it yourself. If you are not the governor, of course - for them there is a separate article in the budget, sort of called "maintaining the image of the governor." The person remains alone with the image and efforts to support him.

The problem is aggravated by the fact that, kind of, dumb roll back, because not climbed the mountain himself. It’s inconvenient for those who kicked you up. Their investment in you will disappear if you jump off. Well, they will no longer bother with you.

Several times in my life I found myself in a situation when they either promoted me or invented some kind of image for me. But it never became ideal, for two reasons: laziness and the invented principle.

Laziness always saved, starting from school. Actually, I was a nerd and an excellent student. So excellent student that he once finished two classes in one year. They set me up as an example, drove to olympiads and contests, made me sing and dance. And I was too lazy.

I ran away from preparing for the Olympics, because she was after school. I periodically got fours, threes and deuces. Fortunately, my parents didn’t really soar - they looked into the diary twice a year. Well, in the end I got a normal medal, a working one - silver, because in the 10th grade I was given two deuces in one lesson, because I painted an apple tree on the side of the notebook.

Similarly, laziness saved at work. I will achieve some success, and, like, logic and military affairs suggest that success should be developed. And I'm too lazy. After the victory, I want to relax, watch a TV set and crackle chips, in the literal and figurative sense. A freshly baked perfect image melts before your eyes, in a few days.

But laziness alone is not enough. Over the years, some skills have grown, and part of the work associated with them is done almost blindfolded, without much effort. You can maintain the same level, after the sleeves, although before you had to plow directly. And laziness no longer helps to resist the efforts of others to create the perfect image.

Then a simple principle came to the rescue: balancing. To do nasty things, in short. Consciously, periodically do things that destroy any ideal image.

For example, writing articles. As soon as I write several articles in a row on the same topic, some readers are drawn up. Create expectations, and hang them on me. Laziness does not save - I write too quickly. And readers demand and demand everything - they find it both through personal messages and through social networks, and some come on foot. Give, they say, articles on the topics that we like.

I do not want. Therefore, I am doing conscious muck - I am writing on a different topic. Do you like thinner? Here's an article about change management. Love something about programmers? Here you are about managers. Want to manage your projects? Soryan, I want about doctors.

And sometimes I balance so that no one is offended. I am writing an article that a priori will go to minus. Just to reduce reader expectations.

If you don’t do this, you begin to feel the burden of “responsibility”, literally physically. Do you want to write about one thing, but you need to write about another. Because readers want to. Because they want me the way they thought of themselves.

Similarly, balancing any other activity. For example, I deliberately do not fulfill the plan. I’ve been doing it for three months, I’m missing it. Even if there is an opportunity to fulfill.

Sometimes I write govnokod. Consciously. Wacky comments, dumb metadata names, moronic names for properties and methods.

Simply put, in order not to be a slave to expectations, one must be unexpected. It is possible with the help of laziness, it is possible - consciously.

Destroying expectations is easy and simple. It is much easier than maintaining and developing the image created by these expectations. Then 80% of the effort does not have to be spent, and you can finally get down to business. To direct the freed efforts to those areas in which you are good.

True, one muck is not enough - the image is still created again. New people come who have not seen a conscious misconduct, but old ones - they forget. They think - well, a man stumbled (they don’t know that I did it consciously. Although, now they’ll read and find out). And again they begin to sculpt what is not and should not be.

Therefore, the practice of conscious filth has to be repeated periodically. As soon as I felt the emergence of the grip of expectations, immediately - broads to them poop in the cake. They immediately make a sour mine, "oh, what a won", and fall behind. Everything, now you can work normally.

I apply the same principle as I can to subordinates. Most of them are young, and therefore imbued with a modern culture of indispensable success in everything. As soon as something starts to turn out - immediately the chin is up, and nobody knows how to mold themselves.

No, that’s not so. The medicine is simple: disgusting. Only in this case, it must either be found or created. It’s easy to find, if you look, anyone always has a jamb. No need to put it directly on public display - it is enough to mention in a private conversation.

To create muck is a little more complicated - you need to give a task that a person obviously will not cope with on time. Not so that he received a strong blow in terms of significance, but only in order to bring down arrogance and return to the sinful earth. To direct efforts to work and develop skills, and not to create and maintain an image that is necessary only to himself.

Here, too, a balance is needed. Not to humiliate, not to dunk your head in shit, not to discourage the desire to do something useful and necessary, but simply to help stop spending 80% of your efforts on maintaining an image that nobody needs.

The fewer the expectations, the closer the reality. The closer the reality, the more adequate the perception. The more adequate the perception, the more correct the action. The more correct the action, the better the result.

Although, most likely, I'm wrong. And you will tell me about it now. I destroyed expectations of myself and created expectations of you.

How much to be Nyasha?

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