Mainstream. Honorary Workers. Biographical novel

Publishing House "Library of the Proletariat."

In this novel, the author will tell us about the difficult fate of the development of the working class of the development industry.

About honorary workers and the development of personal relationships in conditions of lack of memory.

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C ++ has a complex character due to a difficult childhood. He grew up in the hungry 80s, and remembers how often there was not enough space even for symbols. This tempered him and made the syntax stern. Often, when he got drunk, he liked to throw segfolts, break glass, shoot passers-by in the legs. There was no one to tempt him, because his grandfather, respected K&R C, was shell-shocked in Vietnam and often participated in the grandson’s pastimes.

C ++ almost did not remember his father, only that he was called "C with Classes" and that he died from an overdose. Grandfather spoke unflattering about his only son. He responded reluctantly to the grandson’s questions: “You understand, there are some classes ... And you there too ... I remember in my time 615 bytes for three ...” Even less was known about the mother, although some said that at conception our hero was not without some Simula.

Despite his reproaches from his son and grandson for his enthusiasm for classes, Grandpa Xi himself had long and firmly sat on signs. He called it "pointer arithmetic" and claimed that all this was part of his philosophy, allowing us to be closer to the nature of things around the world. Recently, he rarely appeared in public. Some even said that the old man died a long time ago, but no, no, but in some places they noticed his tracks at night. There the lantern is broken, there they shot a passer-by, there is a buffer overflow ...

But with the uncle Classical C, and cousin C-99..11, C ++ was seen often. The whole family as a whole did not like each other. But collaboration and living forced them to stay within the framework of the API agreement. Brother Xi and his father assured that it was they who shot the passers-by the fastest of all, unlike various class-fans. C ++ was a disagreement. But although he said that the shooter was not the worst, he understood in his soul that the use of substances such as OOP was not in vain. An inferiority complex has forever pursued him. To get rid of him, he began to participate in benchmarks. Sometimes, before reloading the shotgun, C ++ slowed down, and then the rest of the family looked at each other sympathetically, and then laughed behind him.

His relatives did not yet realize that C ++ would go further than the deceased father. In addition to OOP, he became interested in the Templates. After a lengthy use of the Templates, he realized that in any shooting competition you can win by shooting the judge’s foot before the start. C ++ was unanimously recognized as the champion of metaprogramming and was no longer allowed to compete. But this did not stop him. He fell into discussion clubs of local intellectuals and philosophers and demanded recognition of himself as a functional PL. Haskell and Lisp shied in horror at this armed with pointers and lax static typification of the thug. But there was nowhere to go, with someone who uses the OOP mixed with the Templates and likes to shoot at the legs, you really can’t argue. So our hero became multi-paradigm.

But C ++ did not last long to stay at the top of the fame of the best shooter in the city. Over time, the PLO ceased to be the object of ridicule, and the grunts of the elderly did not pay attention anymore. It has even become fashionable. Many loved to throw classes from time to time ... and the new generation grew completely different ...

The first to declare itself Java. He stubbornly rejected the need for quick firing on the legs and assured that the main value was clarity ... and objects ... nothing but objects. True, in fact, he interfered with the objects of classes, adding primitives to this cocktail, which did not prevent him from introducing “The First Fully Object-Oriented”. It was rumored that Java was Uncle X's illegitimate son from an unknown OOP. And someone claimed that C ++ is more likely involved here. As it actually was, it is not known for certain, but Java grew up in a shelter of Sun Corporation. So that the new language didn’t do anything terrible, and didn’t take the path of firing on the legs, Sun engineers still lobotomized him at the shelter and cut off his index fingers. When the baby was a little older, caring guardians would not let him go to the world of adulthood, signs,diligently hiding them further in the depths of the virtual machine. In addition, Java carefully taught that shooting at anyone was bad, and weapons should be banned altogether. Such close acquaintance with communism from an early age influenced Java positively and he quickly captured all the honorary posts in enterprise development. It seemed that the days of uncontrolled anarchy had passed, the century of well-coordinated team development had come, and shooting a neighbor in the foot became a bad form.the age of well-coordinated team development has come, and to shoot a neighbor in the foot became a bad form.the age of well-coordinated team development has come, and to shoot a neighbor in the foot became a bad form.

Overshadowed, C ++ tried to pull itself together and keep up with the times by screwing a laser sight to a muzzle-loading shotgun, and trying to give intelligence to the pointers. It did not help much, therefore, forgotten by many, he indulged in sound drinking and long sleep.

And outside the window, Java was already fighting a new powerful adversary. C # was the fruit of the genetic mix of C ++ and Java. There are still rumors that the Java genes for this experiment were not obtained in a very honest way, while at the time a little scandal broke out about this. But created by the engineers of another powerful corporation, really fully object oriented, inheriting many features of C ++, C # was born to challenge Java and managed to defend its right to exist in the harsh world of enterprise. So that he could defeat Java, the creators handed him templates, OOP and pointers (though he bequeathed to use them with caution).

The young Padawan joined the battle with a lobotomized cripple, and by 2020 he almost half-squeezed him ...

Time did not stand still and natural reproduction went out of fashion. Now it was believed that if you were not created in the laboratory of any corporation, then you would never achieve success. So JavaScript, Go, Rust and many others appeared. I’m ashamed to cite the biography of the first, I will limit myself to the fact that the reader should know that he was born a deaf-blind deaf schizophrenic, but thanks to the love of some people he was able to defeat all these shortcomings and become a transgender homosexual. He did not know how to shoot, but he was perfectly able to bring a moment of positive slowdown in any business, wherever he was taken. When JS grew up, he realized his calling as a designer of colored buttons and posters. Since then, it has become scary to go out, piles of acid banners and whistling buttons flooded everything around.If older workers made a remark to him about this, JS started screaming out loud that he was again oppressed by evil heterosexuals. But this is only part of all the troubles. JS led the world of developing his friends. Green-bearded, with dyed hair, on scooters ... He himself always occupied all available space and memory, and this is in the 21st century, when, it would seem, everyone should have missed it for a long time!

But even here no one has succeeded in reproaching him. JS in response began to tell that everyone should have become body-positive and equal for a long time and it doesn’t matter how much memory you eat and take up space. “All employees are valuable, all employees are important, all employees are equal,” said JS. Another noteworthy event related to JS is that he dropped a certain “entry threshold” to zero. They say that after this grief, Grandfather Xi hanged himself in his closet for 5x5 kilobytes. However, JS is still free, so be warned, be careful!

The creators of Go decided to surpass the creators of Java. Even in the womb, they exchanged part of the DNA chains for hamsters ... And then they cut off not only the fingers, but also the ears along with the nose, under the pretext that individual characteristics are not needed, but all should be similar to each other so as not to be confused by their individuality . The fashion for OOP has passed, and Go has not received any classes or templates. But they gave him gorutins. This is what he still lives in, supporting various utilities.

For a long time, some enthusiasts meditated on the nature of the ongoing bacchanalia, until insight overtook them. After that, they developed a harmonious religious-philosophical system, calling it the concept of ownership and gave rise to Rust. Rust was distinguished by its integrity and loyalty to the principles laid down in childhood. If he was instructed to do something, he did not do this until he was convinced that he would not harm anyone. But in order to instruct Rast, it was necessary to understand the concept of ownership and borrow checker. They say after that the entry threshold rose by 15.37%.

While new languages ​​multiplied like mushrooms after rain, the old ones built up power. Java received prostheses in the form of generics and lambda stolen from the philosophical club to them. prof. Haskela. Similar lambdas got to himself and C #, at the same time finding a mistress named Linq. Java kept up with the Stream API. But C # made an unexpected move, pulling out async / await throwing knives and throwing away a heavy null pad. Java in the process of running after its young rival, became like a robot transformer composed of different blocks of different material. Something fell off. In this state, C ++ suddenly woke up. He quickly made his lambdas and his auto type deduction. Now C # and Java shied in horror at such a sight. With a laser sight attached to the shotgun with blue tape,wearing an orange cap with black glasses and an ax hanging from a shoulder strap, the C ++ really terrified everyone who looked at him. Some of the old memory involuntarily grabbed his knees ...

Have a nice day, everyone. If you like it, I will write a continuation about the workers of the scientific and philosophical industry.

Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/undefined/


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